Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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