He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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