Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
