I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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