You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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