i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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