Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize