I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
