i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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