id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
