I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
