I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she woke up with a sticky ear
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
