Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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