I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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