Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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