Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
