So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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