dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
