i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
