Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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