I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
