There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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