I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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