so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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