He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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