Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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