my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
two words: eviction party
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
