I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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