You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
