Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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