I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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