the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize