im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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