apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
