I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
