My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
