i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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