Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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