We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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