Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
