i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
