There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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