Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize