Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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