He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
