I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
