I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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