Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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