just tell him i said nine months
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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