You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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