What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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