I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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