he puts the penis in happiness.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Randomize
