Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was born a porn star she said
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
