well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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