I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
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it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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