i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
