Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
