Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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