i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
