i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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