He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
