Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
