Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
