Having a random hookup so left but love u
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
